We can all agree that finding a reliable and good therapist is not as simple as it seems. At the same time, finding the right couple’s therapist is even more challenging. You probably wonder, what degree they should have, experience, and understanding of basic options such as emotionally focused therapy among other things.

Since we can differentiate numerous buzzwords and potential candidates that are representing themselves as couple’s therapists, you may notice that the market is filled with potential candidates. However, when it comes to your relationship, partnership or marriage, you must conduct comprehensive research before making up your mind.

You should check here to learn more about marriage and family therapist. We will present you essential things you should consider when searching for the best couple’s therapist available on the market. Let us start from the beginning. 

Specialized Training

It is important to remember that couple’s therapy is not like an individual therapy where you can talk with your counselor about personal problems you are experiencing. Instead, reliable couple’s therapist is trained to hold space for two people simultaneously, help you navigate potential conflicts and manage emotional heat that may happen in specific situations.

The most important skill as a couple’s therapist is the ability to stay grounded and avoid getting involved and entangled in the conflict and emotions clients are experiencing. The kind of grounded presence comes from intentional experience, training and intuition, among other things. 

Therefore, you should ask your therapist about training they underwent and models they used. At the same time, ask about the experience they have with similar issues you are facing and whether they can help you deal with them properly. A skilled therapist will share with you their approach, which is vital to remember. 

They are Comfortable Talking About Sex

The biggest topics in couple’s therapy sessions are parenting, money and sex. However, the surprising aspect is that lot of therapists are not specifically trained to talk about intimate aspects of relationship such as sex. The facts state that some avoid talking about it altogether. 

Therefore, when you are going to a therapist who sets line when it comes to sex, it may not help you in general. The truth is that you do not need to find AASECT-certified sex therapist, which is a specific type of counseling. Instead, you can find someone who is comfortable talking about your intimacy, who will not shame you and be squeamish. 

We recommend you to talk about different options regarding marriage counseling in Houston, which is why you should check out their location beforehand:

Besides, they should have tools to help you deal with potential sexual concerns you have. The main idea is to get into a space where you can talk about sex honestly, openly and usefully because that may improve your relationship and take it to the next level.  

They Should Avoid Telling You What to Do

When you are really stuck, it may be tempting to find someone who can directly assess the situation and tell you what to do to get out of the problem. For instance, getting answers on direct questions such as: 

• Should we stay together?
• Should we try harder?
• Should we break up?

The need for answers is relevant and real, meaning it feels urgent and reliable, especially if you are exhausted and overwhelmed. However, couple’s therapy is not the system as you have seen on TV shows, meaning giving answers is not the job of a couple’s therapist. 

Reliable therapist will not try to make decisions on your behalf. They will not tell you whether you should have another child, if you should leave your partner or stick out longer. Instead, they will help you explore the situation so you can understand each other clearly, which will help you figure out the next step by yourself. 

The main idea is that you should find the direction with your partner, which may be more challenging endeavor, but it is also more rewarding and honest. The truth is that therapist does not need to live with consequences of your actions. But you do. Therefore, the best therapists will respect that by helping you make reliable choices, but they will not make them for you.  

Compassion and Cultural Awareness

If you wish for couple’s therapy to be as effective as possible, both partners must feel seen not just like individuals that are part of a specific relationship, but as whole people with lived experiences that are shaping the perspectives they bring into the relationship. 

It means therapist should have more than good listening skills. They should have curiosity, compassion and cultural humility for the best course of action. Watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z7n0S8gi0M to learn more about therapy. 

It means that working with therapist should include someone who understand how your cultural background affects your situation, judgement and overall perspective. Without such lens, both partners may feel misinterpreted and unseen, which is vital to remember.